For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7
Friend, the Lord in His infinite Mercy wishes to renew your spirit.
Will you allow Him this pleasure?
He has given you the gift of life and He owns all He has created and set free. The mystery of the Creator cannot be fathomed by men. He has made it so for His Good Purposes.
He just asks us to look up and see Him and see that He loves us and is Truth.
To accuse Him of our failings or accuse Him for failing us in something is foolishness.
The Spirit asks us to examine our "self," heart and mind, and see that we are the culprit in our own demise. Yes, others have hurt us but we choose how to react. It is our choice that leads us to a place far from God when we are faithless.
Go towards God and see what He has to say and follow His Truths to find the love and acceptance you are craving. Put aside all your blaming of God and see that He is still there, loving you anyway - as you accuse Him.
It is the devil you should accuse. He is the one who you have allowed to enter your temple and dessicrate it with filth and unbelief. He, satan is your destroyer and he is laughing and having a grand old time watching you twist and squirm and harangue God.
Be aggressive in your approach to extricating yourself from the clutches of satan. God has asked us to allow the Spirit to fill us with a renewed mind and heart.
We can learn of God's Promises for us and receive Power - through faith in the Son of God.
Do it, friend. Be blessed.