Do you know if you are forgiven?
This is something you need to be sure of.
Look to the Cross. Did Jesus die for you? You accept He died for others - but you are not sure He died for you?
Friend, He did. He sacrificed His flesh and shed His blood for you to have eternal life.
But, if you cannot accept who He is and that His Sacrifice was not sufficient, then of course you are not forgiven.
It takes belief in Him and the Power He owns to know that His death and resurrection are the key to your salvation.
Some people want it both ways. They want forgiveness but they want to follow their own way as well. They want to make their way mold into the true Way. God will have none of it. His Way is Perfect and ours are not.
We have to let loose the ties that bind our filthy garment of unclean living and let them fall to the ground and step away from them. Take on the robe of Righteousness given by Jesus for your belief in Him. Let it envelop you and soothe your whole being. His Righteousness is Beautiful and Pure and Strong and Powerful and able to sustain you.
Learn of Him from His Word. Lean on Him as He teaches you how to walk upright again. Sit at His feet and read His Words to you. Thank Him for His Presence and His rescuing of your soul.
He is the Mighty God. He owns everything. He has All The Power. Nothing moves without His Approval and all things are governed by His Law.
Can you accept this?