Is it hard for you to commit to Jesus?
Are you held back by the desire to understand the God of the Christian Bible, before you can commit to or acknowledge Jesus?
Many are, yet God sees that as pride based on personal intelligence, and as a block to spiritual growth.
Has He not shown by the created universe that He is All in All?
The oceans and sea are just one of the things we should contemplate. A blade of grass springing forth from the tiny seed is another. There is so much to consider, yet we insist on understanding every little thing about the world and universe as if these discoveries will give us some other meaning than - God is All in All.
This searching keeps us from knowing Him. It is not wise to make your life a continual search. One day your soul will be required at the Judgement.
Have faith that God will give to you understanding when you acknowledge Him.
That is the true journey - God revealing Himself to you as you walk together down the Righteous path.